Here we are on the eve of 4th grade...

Travis might be asleep. He came in a while ago and said he couldn't get to sleep. Ugh! If he's excited or anxious about school tomorrow, he sure hasn't let on!

I remember so much about 4th grade! I'm not quite sure why! I don't remember a lot, but seems more from 4th grade than just about any other. Miss Rowell was my teacher. She was old and lived with her parents. I'm not sure what "old" is to a 4th grader! Maybe it was because I was at a new school, my mom had just remarried, and Ross Warren (about the cutest boy E.V.E.R.) was in my class! We had a field trip to the Old Governor's Mansion. We got to tour the very top floor because Ross' grandpa had been governor of California, and as such Ross' dad lived in the house! That was pretty cool. Course Ross had longish blonde hair and blue eyes too! In 4th grade, not too long before Christmas vacation, we were playing kick-ball on the black top. I had just rounded 3rd and was heading for home with Gladys Hamilton hot on my heels! She tripped, fell into me, and sent me sliding on the ground towards the metal post of the backstop. Skinned both knees and had gravel in my left palm. Later that night, I was cleaning my hand at home and fainted! A few days later, barely able to walk (and class was upstairs in this really cool old brick school) my mom took me to see Santa. Told him all I wanted for Christmas was for my knees to heal!

I worked in the cafeteria too. One of my fav meals was ground beef with some sort of gravy ladled over a mound of mashed potatoes! My favorite sport to play was tetherball. Got one for Christmas for the backyard! I peeked before Christmas, so I knew that one already! I'm not sure who my 'best' friend might have been. It was probably Vera Shuler. She had really long hair and always wore it in one pony-tail combed over to the side. So did her sister, Myra. They were both adopted. Their parents sold crap at the flea market everyweek. I don't think her dad had a 'real' job. Their house sorta looked like Fred Sanford's. Inside and out!

My favorite shows to watch were Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, and Love American Style! I remember that because every Monday we had to get up in front of the class and tell what we did over the weekend. Mine always started off with watching those shows, then went to the weekend that was usually spent with my dad helping him build a house-boat. On Saturday's, I think we watched All in the Family and Mary Tyler Moore.

What I dread the most about going back to school is the homework. Gonna have to get the 'chore chart' out so I don't have to ask everyday, or ride herd on what needs to be done.

I did ask the other day if Travis wanted me to meet him at school (he's ridin' the bus, of course) and walk him to his class. First he said "no" but then quickly added "well, if you want to."

Yeah. I do. With any luck, he'll only go to 4th grade once!

Do Something!!

I read, with much sadness, the blog of a friend of mine about someone she was once very close to who had died.

It's such a busy world that we live in, and we're constantly jamming up our schedules with stuff that either we or our kids need to do. It happens to all of us. So, with people in the back of my mind that I just wanted to touch base with, I sent out seven e-mails this morning. None said anything more, really, than that I was thinking of them. Sadly, two of them have faced the loss of a family member in the past two weeks.

One e-mail was sent back as "undeliverable." I seem to recall that happening before. Two years ago, a friend that I was VERY close to for many years, turned 40. There was a surprise party for her, and at the last minute I called to see if kids were invited, as nowhere on the invitation did it say one way or the other. Turns out, kids weren't invited, Greg was out of town, and there was an event going on in the community that had the babysitters I knew of already spoken for. I opted out of the party. Sent her an e-mail a few days later, and have not heard from her since. I've sent Christmas cards, but haven't gotten one in return. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I go back and forth between shrugging it off to her being busy (full-time job, two kids, house, husband) and saying "eh, it's o.k....ours must have been a 'seasonal' friendship and that season has passed" to saying "what a bitch! How hard would a reply be, or maybe a note that simply said 'bugger off.'"

I had lunch with my dear friend Debbie last week. She and I e-mail each other, but hadn't gotten together since last summer. She asked about Sue, and when I told her I hadn't heard from her in nearly two years, her teeth just about fell out of her mouth! But yet, I wasn't upset about it! I'm thinking about this more, and I think that deep down I was always more of a friend to her than she ever was to me. Oh sure, she was great company and we had a lot of fun and shared a ton of inside jokes, but I've always known that if the chips were down, Sue likely wouldn't be the one I'd call. Debbie for sure. And I know that for a fact through experience.

C'est la vie.

But my point (if I really have one) is that we all need to stop what we're doing, look around, pick up the phone, or dust off the keyboard and just let the ones we care about know that we're thinking of them. If the posts I sent today go unanswered, I have let it be. I have learned enough to know that one person alone can not make a friendship.

Sleep would be nice...

I know I shouldn't complain about sleep. I have friends with small children and they are up often during the night with their kids. But. The cat. The boy. The snoring husband. Doesn't help that I've got some sort of cold and am not sleeping well to begin with. Then there is the early-morning wake-up call from the golf course. ugh. I love living here, and the mowers aren't out there forever, but when you're not ready to be awake it seems like they somehow know it!

As I'm typing this, Jackson (the cat) is laying right next to the computer with his head touching the screen. He's breathing heavily, his eyes are closed, and he's just so darn adoreable it's hard to imagine that he could be annoying during the night! It really is nice having a cat in the house again. It helps that he is incredibly sweet! I've enjoyed watching Travis care for him and love on him. It validates that some of my parenting has been good! Travis will hold Jackson, kiss him, and talk to him in much the same way that I do Travis.

I actually sat down to type up last nights soccer minutes while it's still fresh in my head. I should get to that. It won't be long before Travis is up and bellowing for pancakes! I also want to get to Wilson Trophy this morning to pick up soccer pins. I'm afraid I may not have ordered enough since there have been so many late registrations. ugh! Wonder how much THAT will cost to order more...hoping I don't have to order them in 100/lots.

One last week of summer vacation...

As usual, I have a "to do" list that is as long as my arm! Today I will stay off the computer and work diligently to get through the list!

In the meantime, the whole thought of going back to work bums me out. I like getting paid, but I'm less and less liking the routine of going to work. I don't really think working is 'taking care of me.' I stay there because I don't want to let Danise down. Her plate is so full, that me being there helps her with some of her burden. That's taking care of her. Yes, there is some reward in doing for others, but the price has been that I'm not doing for me and my family. I don't feel as if I'm doing any of my jobs with any great success and/or accomplishment. Letting soccer stuff go will help a lot. Perhaps I just need to stick it out with work, and once my tenure with soccer is over I'll feel as if I'm doing better with my own things. I suppose a methodical 'one-thing-at-at-time' approach is best.

For today, I must do the following:

Clean the house - laundry, ironing, vacuum, hardwood, dust, unload dishwasher, bathroom floors, wash 'valances' in family room, knock down cobwebs, clean silk plants, hand-water outside plants, water inside plants, finish cleaning Travis' room, take paper down in Travis' room

Soccer - check off teams that have all passes ready for coaches, get updated salmon forms to coaches for signing, pictures of kids and coaches, list of passes needed to Imogene, go to EG and get team manuals, mail soccer camp refund checks, make camp deposit, mail final check to Challenger, go to Post Office

CM stuff - update Memsoft, input sales from August crop, verify and put away recent order

Walk with Barb

Why does this make me pissy?

Soccer (EGYSL) pays to use the fields in RM per a use agreement. This year, it was $2700.00. We were to have the soccer field, the outfield of the majors, the outfield of the new softball diamond and Riverview Park. The outfield of the softball diamond is not suitable for game play and is barely suitable for practice area. The new "soccer field" should have afforded us at least room for two fields. Because of safety issues, we have one field there. Riverview contract has Wednesday's wide open. We did it like that for a mens league that was practicing there. I don't know if they still are.

This year we have at least 318 players. Last year we had 311.

Last year we weren't able to use Stonehouse during set-up/use/take-down of Summerfest's big summer blow-out. We paid for it. Same thing this year. I'm kicking myself because I picked up the bag and made sure we had a contract with RMA for field use. It was such a rushed deal that I totally forgot about Summerfest jamming us up. In reality, if Summerfest were to happen at another park in the community, it's likely practice would be canceled at least on Friday night due to everyone going to the carnival!

Barb says (and she's right) that I'm just being stubborn. It's three days of non-use. If the money is that important, get Summerfest to "donate" to the club. I don't want summerfest's money. The Club doesn't really need their money either. We'd have to give it back to the community/Club in some way and there honestly isn't anything we need. If we had perfect useable fields, we could entertain the idea of benches for the teams. If we got something portable then there is the off-season storage issue. Safety is a concern too. I wonder where the liability would be if someone hurt themselves on a bench. The Club itself doesn't have insurance, that is all under EGYSL's umbrella.

Am I "jealous" that baseball gets so much support and donations? What exactly is it? Maybe it's the fact that this soccer club has consumed me, and with the exception of Paul, I'm not sure it has the same meaning to anyone else. Nobody. We get over-looked. We try to take care of everything ourselves so as not to be extra work for anyone else (maintenance in particular) so we can bring a healthy soccer club to our friends and neighbors and their kids.

I think thats it. Soccer just doesn't matter to anyone else the way that it matters to me. Hmmmm... Further validation that I need to loosen up my grip. Loosen it to the point that I'm no longer touching it.

Then comes the frightening thought of "what would I do with myself?"

I'm at it again...

I have plenty to do to get stuff caught up. Yet, here I am. What I'm working on today is getting soccer stuff in order. I think if I can plow through that and get it all to a "hand-it-off" point, I'll be better able to focus on other things that need doing.

The thought of returning to work is bumming me out. I hate to leave Danise without any help, but I'm not enjoying being there. Maybe I need to BE there. I like payday! Once Travis goes back to school, I'll get back in the routine. However, I like the non-work routine a lot. I want to spend time doing MY stuff, and not the stuff of others.

Here I go, back to the dining room...